Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Woody Allen and Shakespeare

I really want to like Woody Allen movies. I do. But I have this anti-Woody-Allen wall that comes slamming down and I just can't break through it. Sort of like reading Shakespeare, I think I'm supposed to like reading it but nothing happens. Which is tough when you work for a Shakespeare theatre. It's sort of a given that every mood your in should exude Shakespeare somehow. But not me.

With Woody Allen the problem is even more curious then that of Shakes. With Shakespeare at least the language is tougher than modern, the references are obscure, the philosophy a bit dated... people are expected to have a hard time with him. But with Woody everyone I know seems to say the same thing, "He is such a comic genius! I love his films." Everyone I know says this! Literally. I could line up the first 100 people that I know (in no specific order) and you could walk along (preferably at a cocktail party or some other location where random acts of banter are expted) and mention "Have you seen the latest Woody Allen film?" Every one of those 100 friends will say,
"Oh yes, he is such a comic genius! I love his films." Something else that bothers me about Woody Allen is that people ALWAYS refer to his work as "films". No one really says, "Hey, that new Woody Allen movie is out" or "Woody Allen is a movie guru." It's always, "We should check out the new Woody Allen film playing at the art house" or "Woody Allen is a cavalier of contemporary film."


It's a movie. They are pretty much ALL movies... except for the foreign ones, THOSE are films. Yes, Woody Allen is kinda artsy and yes people talk about him in coffee shops, but it's really just a "film" veneer for what is in all actuality a movie.

I don't begrudge Woody Allen. I wish him all the success in the world. I begrudge those who think that carrying a martini around, doing kiss-kiss in the air to either cheek, and fawning over these "films" makes them "tres sophisticate".

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Super Size Me

So I went out with the intention of rollerblading today. I got about a 1/4 mile down the road, fell, decided I would rather be riding a bike. It's not that I can't rollerblade. I can... just not super well.

Instead of working out I instead went to the mall, Target, and then back home after a stop at the McDonald's drive-thru and then home to watch Super Size Me. God save Netflix for sending this to me and heaven reserve a place in line for Morgan Spurlock
for making that movie.

I was halfway through my sandwhich and only 1/4 way through my fries when I dropped them both into the trash can. The realization that I was putting pure poison into my body was a horrific thought. Granted, I know McDonald's isn't good for you... but it's convenient. And it's not like I eat it everyday, just every once in a while.

What has really set this off is the press release from the Childrens' Television Workshop stating that Cookie Monster is cutting back on his cookie intake...even leaving his anthem "C is for Cookie" in favor of "A Cookie is a Sometimes Food".

So starting today I am banning myself from McDonalds, Wendy's, Burger King, Pizza Hut, etc. As much as possible I am going to steer myself toward better eating habits before the explosion of obesity plops its ugly rump down on me.

Blast you cholestoral, blast you saturated fat! Out damn spot!

Monday, April 04, 2005

Crash! Bam! Alakazam! Posted by Hello

Rollerblades... or, the Kiss of Death

So yesterday I went out rollerblading with Meg, my comrade in arms for horribly bad ideas. Now, it wasn't so bad that I wouldn't do it again... in fact, it was great exercise and a lot of laughs, mostly at Meg's expense. I will never claim to be a good "blader" but I can stay up and, within reason, move from place to place with some ease and decorum. Meg is also reasonably well skilled at "blading". But when fate finds it appropriate to trip her up and send her careening off the sidewalk and into a muddy patch of grass and bugs, she tends to loose her confidence. (Maybe at this point I should have given her a false name like on Dragnet, "to protect the innocent". But that would infer a sense of innocence on her which is completely out of the question!)

We made it through the park for an hour and a half, trepidatiously climbing hills and skirting down some frightful embankments. A few bumps and scratches but not more worse for wear.

I digress.

Somewhere on this page will be an unfortunate photo of Meg somersaulting through the air en route to her final destination - face planting in the dirt.

What a terrible dilemma... help a friend in need or stop to take their picture and laugh in their face. I chose the latter.

Friday, April 01, 2005

I painted this in 2003 as a graduation gift for Ma Jones from me and Patrick. Posted by Hello